08 April 2011

If you really knew me...........

I love reading this blog. I love her style and outlook on life! She cracks me up! She follows this blog and I wanted to do the prompt for this week. So here we go. Won't you join too?

If you really knew me you would know that my personal views on the current government are less than stellar but I still serve them, as that is my job.

If you really knew me you would know that I want to volunteer at the USO as soon as little C is ready; and that I thank every single Soldier/military personnel that I see.

If you really knew me you would know I am the stereotypical first/oldest child.

If you really knew me you would know that when I was growing up I told my parents I would NEVER get married or have children before I had $50,000 in my bank account, owned my own home, and was established in my career; then I met Jonathan and we all know what they say about best laid plans.

If you really knew me you would know that I do not think highly of myself, that I am super critical and hard on myself. I am trying to work on that.

If you really knew me you would know that I do not adjust to change well.

If you really knew me you would see that I am fiercely loyal and protective of those in my "inner" circle. I have always been a "mama bear" hence my nickname in high school on the JROTC Girls Drill team "Mama Crystal". I even have a shirt they made me!

If you really knew me you would know that I do not feel I am a great mother, but I try my very best everyday and at the end of the day I am exhausted; but I love my little girl more than the world and would even disown my "inner" circle for her.

If you really knew me you would know that I am still learning how to be friends with women. I know this sounds strange but growing up I was a tomboy, and then in the Army I was surrounded by mostly males so befriending females is not a strong suit of mine, but I am trying.

If you really knew me you would know that I journal everyday, have a slight addiction to journals, notebooks etc and my thoughts are rather scattered within several journals these days.

If you really knew me you would know that I have an addiction to Coke Zero and buying/organizing scrap booking supplies, ledgers, journals, and sweat pants (the wide leg kind!).

If you really knew me you would know that putting this out there is a little scary.

If you really knew me you would understand why I hate malls or other big crowds since returning from duty in Iraq in 2005. You would understand my need to be hyper alert, cautious, and anxious. You would understand why I am so pissed that MD does not allow (or rather makes it extremely difficult) to get a concealed weapon permit. You would know that I carry pepper spray everywhere and have had to use it only once. You would know why I am fail to meet mental expectations that the Army has set and you would understand how ironic that is since my "mental state" (anxiety) was caused by serving for the Army.

If you really knew me would you still like me? Even after all these secrets?


  1. I am really glad that with each and every day I'm getting to know you better! :) Thanks for sharing.

  2. I would still like you no matter what! I consider you one of my best friends and I love learning more about you! Thank you for being you!!!!!

  3. Love this post - thanks for telling more about you. I share your addiction to Coke Zero and buying scrap supplies - especially online! If I'm feeling brave I might try this too. I'm liking your blog a lot, and looking forward to getting to know you better.

  4. What an awesome post! I liked this prompt but was drawn to a different one...maybe I will post a list like this, too. I share with you the trait of being very critical of myself, I blog about that quite a bit. (Wrote a poem about it for mama kat's prompt two weeks back -- http://www.leadingmama.com/2011/03/where-the-light-is.html) Happy to "meet" you. I am an AF wife, stationed at Ft Dix NJ.

  5. I think it is great that we put ourselves out there sometimes.
    I know I tend to forget to make it more personal some times.
    I think it is funny how so many people we "know"- we hardly know!
    Thanks for sharing and taking the chance to share.

  6. I still like you tons! Thanks for playing along!

  7. Brave post - thank you for sharing - you sound like you'd be someone worth getting to know :D

  8. Like you? Really? hmh! LOVE YOU! is more like it!

    Crystal we honestly share some very similar traits and tendencies.

    This is such a moving post, written from the heart. You are such a very brave person....and I am proud and lucky to know you.


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